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RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?

PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 4:00 pm
by twangorama
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Nov-13-05 AT 11:11 AM (EST)]glad you solved it - though it's interesting that you describe telling the singer to do it herself (and then walking out on them) as friendly. sounds more like you were (right or wrong) pissed.

for future reference (and for people with similar problems):

1. how to bow out:

tell them you're quitting as soon as you make the decision, but make it clear you're willing to do this one gig you've said yes to if they still want you to. if worst comes to worst, suffer through the gig and leave with your head up and no hard feelings. (chances are they won't insist you play the gig anyway, but let it be their choice, not yours.)

you need to honor your commitment for two reasons:

- to maintain your reputation of reliability and professionalism. though it might not seem like it now, that's much harder to repair than the damage of one bad gig.

- so you'll respect yourself in the morning.

2. how do you tell people they suck?

you don't. ever. period. again, this separates the pros from the posers. who are you to say their music isn't good? you yourself said you're no pavarotti. does that give luciano the right to insult your music? of course not. for your situation right now, it's enough to tell the band you don't enjoy the material or it doesn't fit your style. this particular problem isn't about who's better than whom. it's about artistic differences.

3. memorizing:

i'm like you. i have huge trouble memorizing songs i don't enjoy, and i hate copying an arrangement. some people are good at it and love it. (you got it: artistic differences!) find people whose stuff you like and whose attitudes and approaches are compatible with yours, and play with them. it's worth taking the time to find them.

be patient - especially with yourself! - and the rest will happen. the high road is the pro road.

RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:34 am
by jaybee
"friendly" as in NOT pointing out what I think are major flaws in the band - as it turns out they are now looking for another guitar player AND singer, looks like she quit or got fired...

i just found a bass player, now all I need is a drummer and the new band will be up and running in a couple of weeks...