One Liners

Problems, how to get them, favorite songs to play, groupies, funky bar owners, etc. NO names of clubs, please.

RE: One Liners

Postby bosco » Sun Mar 19, 2006 4:25 pm

And don't forget the self depricating-

"We had a request earlier, but we're going to sing anyway!"

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RE: One Liners

Postby bigdaddy » Sun Mar 26, 2006 12:10 pm

We play a redneck bar and get the cowboy wanna be coming up always in the middle of a song asking for Garth Brooks or some western music. I am tempted to say "we started out as a country music band but it turns out our IQ's are to high". But I don't. I ignore them with my "you ignorant bastard" stare then after the song ends I tell them "I was raised in the west, I write all the songs so this is western music." They look funny then I tell them we do a country tune in the third set for them to stick around. The song is a straight ahead blues song about a guy who catches his wife cheating and decides to go to Texas. Sounds like a country song to me. It's all objective anyway. I do know a few real cowboys. These guys love life and appreciate people. They like what we play, how we dress but they are secure with themselves and don't feel the need to change us or what we are doing. A real cowboy is a very open minded, peaceful person.
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RE: One Liners

Postby mickeypainless » Sun Mar 26, 2006 2:44 pm

>>> A real cowboy is a very open minded, peaceful person.

And I personally have little use for new C/W music!
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RE: One Liners

Postby dcblues » Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:29 am

Sometimes the best one liners are the ones that go above the audience's head. A recent example: Towards the end of the night at a recent gig, a nice looking woman walked in and past us (we play acoustic, by the front door). She was wearing low rider jeans and her thong was very visible. A friend who was sitting in on guitar and vocals noticed that (we all did, but our bass player tried not to because his wife was there!) He almost lost track of the song he was singing and definitely forgot some of the words. Between songs, I asked him (loud enough to be picked up by my mic), "Dave, are you in tune? I think you need to adjust your G string." He appreciated that, and I don't think anyone in the audience got our inside joke.
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RE: One Liners

Postby maxx england » Fri Mar 31, 2006 11:46 am

Heard a lovely line one night, "We're going to do an Elmore James number now, that we wrote on the way here".
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RE: One Liners

Postby nizer » Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:29 pm

>I asked him (loud enough to be picked up by my mic),
>"Dave, are you in tune? I think you need to adjust your G
>string."

Too funny - good one.
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RE: One Liners

Postby bosco » Sun Apr 02, 2006 12:30 pm

Here's one I use from time to time that usually gets a good laugh-

Upon seeing someone I know enter the club- "Hey (enter name here), good to see you. How's that witness protection program going?"

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RE: One Liners

Postby qtheblues » Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:36 pm

Harps suck best.



You gotta choose who you say this to carefully (he can't be 'fighting drunk), but one I use from time to time that gets a laugh is.....

"Hey, man, me 'n' Jesus love you, others think you're an a**hole"

But as I say.....carefull!
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