One Liners

Problems, how to get them, favorite songs to play, groupies, funky bar owners, etc. NO names of clubs, please.

One Liners

Postby lightninboy » Thu Mar 09, 2006 10:14 pm

I'm playing in a "Delta Blues" act.
We try to keep it as traditional as possible, with old reso's, washboard, blue's harps, etc.
We're advertised on the radio and in the newspaper as authentic old time Delta blues.
Even out front of the hotel it say's, "Delta Blues".

Still, this doesn't stop punters coming up (often during a song) and requesting cover's.
"Can you play Sweet Child O mine?", or "do you know any Garth Brookes?",
"how about some Doors?".

I've played in cover bands for years, and Im sick to death of playing that stuff.

Any good "One Liners" to help answer the punters?

I need to be diplomatic, and humourous, while at the same time saying NO Way!
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RE: One Liners

Postby ricochet » Thu Mar 09, 2006 10:24 pm

If someone requests "Free Bird," say "Got it right here," and present your middle finger.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine."
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RE: One Liners

Postby ricochet » Thu Mar 09, 2006 10:26 pm

Oh yeah, "How about some Doors?": "There's one in the back."

"A cheerful heart is good medicine."
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RE: One Liners

Postby bighollowtwang » Thu Mar 09, 2006 10:59 pm

>I'm playing in a "Delta Blues" act.

>Even out front of the hotel it say's, "Delta Blues".


That would be the "delta" of which two Australian rivers?
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RE: One Liners

Postby 601blues » Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:30 am

On a gig, a young lady came up and asked if I would play a song by Eric Clapton,I said Iam sorry I just do 601,what she said no clapton,I just need a pick me up,NO problem I handle dat,so I announced over da mike the young lady wanted to be picked up, After da show I saw her in da parkin lot with her legs in da air!!
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RE: One Liners

Postby lorilu » Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:46 am

You guys are funny!!! But I would like to say something. I have worked as an artist to my good luck and people come up all the time and talk and as I appreciate the fact that I have a job I pretty much like. I try to be kind to people. Just be nice. Some good natured joking is always great. But just be thankful you get to do what you do. I was painting these giant handprints on the side of this bank on a ladder for this safety day promotion and I heard all kinds of jokes. "Do you need a hand?", "Gimme five!", I always hear,"You missed a spot." and "You spelled that wrong." I always look and act surprised and joke around. If someone wants to hang out and talk all day I welcome them.

A couple weeks ago, as Ricochet knows, I went out and this band - GREAT band playing - nothing but covers. AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!But they did such a good job and the folks were all up dancing and having a blast. A lot of people wait for the weekend just to dance to a good band. It made me really appreciate what we're here for as musicians. Part of what we do is for the people. So even if we don't play covers - we are lucky they come and see us and pay the money and get up and dance. Good natured teasing is a good thing, though. Dang, 601.
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RE: One Liners

Postby lightninboy » Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:42 am

>>I'm playing in a "Delta Blues" act.
>
>>Even out front of the hotel it say's, "Delta Blues".
>
>
>That would be the "delta" of which two Australian rivers?


Got ya covered there Bighollowhead. :)
I'm on the delta of the South Kolan and the Burnett rivers.
In fact, if you swap cotton for sugar cane, this place is a lot like the Mississippi Delta.

.....................................................................

Hey Ric,
I like the one about the doors, I'm gonna use it for sure.
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RE: One Liners

Postby hashtaff » Fri Mar 10, 2006 6:00 am

Including snakes and frogs well...cane toads! ;)

"First feel really bad. Or really good. The point is to feel" doc Mojo
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RE: One Liners

Postby bighollowtwang » Fri Mar 10, 2006 6:50 am

>I'm on the delta of the South Kolan and the Burnett rivers.

My grasp of Australian geography is pretty damn weak...where is that exactly?

Australia and New Zealand are two places I would really like to visit someday. Judging by the photos my dad took on his business trips to Adelaide, Sydney, and Perth....you guys have some interesting wildlife there.
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RE: One Liners

Postby jaybee » Fri Mar 10, 2006 7:24 am

>I'm playing in a "Delta Blues" act.
>We try to keep it as traditional as possible, with old
>reso's, washboard, blue's harps, etc.
>We're advertised on the radio and in the newspaper as
>authentic old time Delta blues.
>Even out front of the hotel it say's, "Delta Blues".
>
>Still, this doesn't stop punters coming up (often during a
>song) and requesting cover's.
>"Can you play Sweet Child O mine?", or "do you know any
>Garth Brookes?",
>"how about some Doors?".
>
>I've played in cover bands for years, and Im sick to death
>of playing that stuff.
>
>Any good "One Liners" to help answer the punters?
>
>I need to be diplomatic, and humourous, while at the same
>time saying NO Way!


how about "sorry I learned to play by ear, and those guys weren't born yet, when I stopped listening"
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RE: One Liners

Postby nizer » Fri Mar 10, 2006 11:38 am

"If you have any requests, just write them on the back of a twenty dollar bill and pass them up".

And my favorite end-of-night closer: "You don't have to go home, but you gotta get outta here".
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RE: One Liners

Postby 601blues » Fri Mar 10, 2006 1:02 pm

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Mar-10-06 AT 08:02 AM (EST)]I set up muh Geetar case,open with a sign I Play fo TIPS, I get the 10s and 20s, the bills that are folded, most of the time contain notes with rm.## I just toss the notes.
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RE: One Liners

Postby bosco » Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:50 pm

how about "sorry I learned to play by ear, and those guys weren't born yet, when I stopped listening"


That's great...I'll use that one!

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RE: One Liners

Postby jaybee » Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:12 am

be my guest Bosco - but take care, the first one's for free, but once you get hooked the price goes up like a rocket ;)
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RE: One Liners

Postby snakehips » Fri Mar 17, 2006 5:59 pm

Hi there !

One I like like is : "If anyone has any requests, please feel free to keep them to yourselves" !!
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