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Humor the Bride's Mom

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:06 pm
by jeffl
I went to a wedding reception Fri. nite where the band was billed as a "Classic Rock" band. The bride's mom had asked me to bring my harps, in case I had a chance to play a little with the band. The term "classic" turned out to mean songs by groups like Captain and Tenille, James Taylor, Carly Simon,and other acts from the late 60's and early to mid 70's. They were competent musicians,but their playlist never deviated from pleasing primarily the oldest people at the dance,who were primarily 60-75 years old. I politely declined a request from the bride's mom,thinkin' that she was jus' bein' cordial in asking me if I wanted to play. I found out later that I had disappointed her,'cuz she wanted to hear me play,and that I should have made an effort to talk to the band and see if they knew a few tunes I could've jumped in on. It was a tactical error on my part,and I love the lady dearly and should've tried to accomodate her. I read the situation wrong,and I learned a lesson.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:42 pm
by ricochet
Bubba, I'm sure you coulda done a mean harp solo on "Muskrat Love."

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:04 pm
by bosco
Bubba, I'm sure you coulda done a mean harp solo on "Muskrat Love."

LMAO! :lol:

Yeah, be sure to wear a white captain's hat to complete the presentation!

That's happened to me before when I just couldn't find any common ground with the group I was expected to sit in with. Better to disappoint someone who has unrealistic expectations than to make an ass of yourself and muck up the band's performance as well. You did the right thing.


PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:47 pm
by stratman_27
I agree with Bosco on this one. Better to disappoint than to offend or bugger up the rest. I know what I'd have done in your shoes. I would have left my gear in the car and if anyone had asked I'd tell them right quick "Thats not my kind of music bro"

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:08 pm
by jeffl
The only thing I would've done differently in retrospect is to just apologize to her first,when I declined, or maybe at least talk to the bandleader to see if they knew anything we could've done half way decently,even if it was Mustang Sally.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:26 pm
by nizer
I don't think you made a tactical error and if anyone is owed an apology it's you. Once again people assume that because you can play an instrument you are obligated to do it at their whim. That's why musicians get exploited and treated like crap so often. *What .... and you expect to get PAID for it!!?? But you're having so much fun.*

You have every right to respectfully turn down any request to play for any reason. I play a lot of older, popular stuff at social gatherings, but only what I want. I routinely turn down requests for The Boxer, The Weight, all kinds of stuff.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:04 am
by thebluescaster
Nizer's have nothing to apologize for, and unless you had been specifically bragging that you could play harp with any song in the world, no one has the right to suggest that you just 'go up and play'.

You are a human being, not a human jukebox, and simple courtesy would dictate that this lady should take the time to learn who you actually are, and what it is you actually do, instead of treating you like a 5 year old fresh out of tap dance lessons..."Get on up there honey, and show the nice people".


(I'm sure there is a nicer way to get this across than I just used, but I'm in a mood).

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 2:32 am
by nizer
I'm sure there is a nicer way to get this across than I just used, but I'm in a mood).

Me too. Your talent and hard work don't mean you owe anybody anything.