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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2007 12:56 pm
by rustyslide
I'd love those lyrics again too, my long suffering father had to suffer through a few of those.

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 3:26 am
by ricochet
Here you go:

Colon Preppin' Blues
©2003 John Culp

I hear my colon rumblin',
It's gonna blow again.
An' I ain't seen no toilet paper
Since I don't know when.
I've been drinkin' Phospho-Soda,
Lord, it seems so long.
And my bowels keep on dribblin',
I'm stuck here on the throne.


When I was just a baby,
My mama told me, "Son,"
"Always eat your fruits and veggies,"
"Don't cook your meat well done."
Now my colon needs a scopin',
To find what's ailin' me.
Guess I've got to keep on hopin'
It will be trouble free.


If I was a colon doctor,
If this bowel prep was mine,
You bet I'd let folks wash it down
With a little bit of wine,
But I've got to keep on purgin',
Until it all runs clear.
I wish this all was over,
It's tearin' up my rear!

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 3:39 am
by leftyguitarman
Those lyrics are sick. haha

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:39 am
by mickeypainless
THAT is frikkin AWESOME John, thanx for the HUGE laugh!

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 2:19 pm
by ricochet
You're welcome!

Got my scales back. 225 this am. Told my wife I'd gone on a huge eating binge last night. She asked what I'd eaten, and I told her. She laughed. Said that'd just have been a start for me not long ago, and she's right.

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 3:11 pm
by bluejay
Thanks for the lyrics, Rico -- that sure encourages me to get in for my overdue exam. :shock: :P This high side of 50 sure has lots of new fun and games for us ol' guys...and gals, too. My wife turned 50 on Monday, but she says she can't feel much difference between that and 49 so far. As they say, give it time.

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:08 pm
by 601blues

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:23 pm
by dcblues
Colon Preppin' Blues

A good followup would be Screamin' Jay Hawkins' "Constipation Blues." it has to be herd to be appreciated.

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 5:38 pm
by ricochet
Try to do it with a straight face in your best Johnny Cash voice. Johnny would understand.

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 7:46 pm
by cas
The image of Johnny Cash singing this song was too much for me, nearly passed out from laughing.

Love it, Ric.


PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:35 pm
by 601blues
:shock: My wife said I had my head up there so many times I shoulda checked them out my self!! gezz no respect!!

PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:35 pm
by maxx england
Oh man, you know,
601 has the bues,
he got 'em,
Yes you know,
601 has the blues,
he sure got 'em,
Took a nosebleed to the VA,
And they searched for it up his bottom!

I've had a scope for my prostate: my advice? Take a pain killer or smoke something really good beforehand, it doesn't actually hurt, it's more like the biggest sting you ever had in your life. It certainly has your full attention.

PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:44 pm
by 601blues
:D Thanx Maxx!!! does have a RING to it, Iam gonna finish it off! and record it!!
I weighed in at 226 this morning!!!!! how is everybody else doin???

PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:09 pm
by bluesmcgoo
Well, I'm at 206 this morning. Down from 222 on April 16.

Congrats, by the way. Keep it going!

PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 6:07 pm
by leftyguitarman
Maxx, after hearing about the prostate story, I am damn glad that I am only 17. :lol: