One liners

Dr. Mojo admits a weakness for jokes about musicians. Let's collect a few -- such as, "How do you get a bass player off your porch?" The answer: Pay him for the pizza.

One liners

Postby grumpygroo » Wed Nov 05, 2008 5:41 pm

Can't resit one-liners even if they are old and wrinkled:

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God and I didn't.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are just missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

Procrastinate . Now!!

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Smith and Wesson - the original point and click interface

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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Re: One liners

Postby jaybee » Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:00 am

Just because you're paranoid doesn' t mean they're NOT watching you!
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Re: One liners

Postby NEONMOONY » Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:59 am

Even the paranoid have REAL enemies!
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Re: One liners

Postby texas blues » Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:32 pm

My wife wanted me to make her scream during sex so I wiped my d*ck on the curtains.

Cheers, TB.
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Re: One liners

Postby LesFromChicago » Wed Jan 07, 2009 11:38 pm

There is an apathetic linguist, he can mutter "whatever" in 49 languages, but cares nothing about learning more words.
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Re: One liners

Postby maxx england » Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:23 am

Does an indecisive dyslexic insomniac atheist lie awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog?
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Re: One liners

Postby MarkB » Sat Jan 10, 2009 1:32 am

This blues guy walks into twelve bars.

MArk B.
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Re: One liners

Postby maxx england » Sat Jan 10, 2009 1:57 pm

Bought himself a tonic, no doubt?
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Re: One liners

Postby ricochet » Sat Jan 10, 2009 2:20 pm

In the fourth, he had a fifth.
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Re: One liners

Postby jaybee » Sat Jan 10, 2009 2:27 pm

after the seventh he started looking for a key
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Re: One liners

Postby maxx england » Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:20 pm

We won't mention his "little accidentals".
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Re: One liners

Postby cas » Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:00 am

The eighth struck a chord with him.

Carol
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Re: One liners

Postby ricochet » Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:20 pm

At the 12th, he made a turnaround.
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Re: One liners

Postby goldbrick » Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:52 pm

Everyone left so he continued solo
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Re: One liners

Postby LesFromChicago » Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:21 pm

CAUTION: Items appearing to be in the rear view mirror are actually somewhere behind you.
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