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Big Road Blues Discussion Forums 2005-11-14T06:34:56+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/feed.php?f=8&t=906 2005-11-14T06:34:56+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9618#p9618 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]>
i just found a bass player, now all I need is a drummer and the new band will be up and running in a couple of weeks...

Statistics: Posted by jaybee — Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:34 am


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2005-11-13T16:00:25+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9617#p9617 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]>
for future reference (and for people with similar problems):

1. how to bow out:

tell them you're quitting as soon as you make the decision, but make it clear you're willing to do this one gig you've said yes to if they still want you to. if worst comes to worst, suffer through the gig and leave with your head up and no hard feelings. (chances are they won't insist you play the gig anyway, but let it be their choice, not yours.)

you need to honor your commitment for two reasons:

- to maintain your reputation of reliability and professionalism. though it might not seem like it now, that's much harder to repair than the damage of one bad gig.

- so you'll respect yourself in the morning.

2. how do you tell people they suck?

you don't. ever. period. again, this separates the pros from the posers. who are you to say their music isn't good? you yourself said you're no pavarotti. does that give luciano the right to insult your music? of course not. for your situation right now, it's enough to tell the band you don't enjoy the material or it doesn't fit your style. this particular problem isn't about who's better than whom. it's about artistic differences.

3. memorizing:

i'm like you. i have huge trouble memorizing songs i don't enjoy, and i hate copying an arrangement. some people are good at it and love it. (you got it: artistic differences!) find people whose stuff you like and whose attitudes and approaches are compatible with yours, and play with them. it's worth taking the time to find them.

be patient - especially with yourself! - and the rest will happen. the high road is the pro road.

Statistics: Posted by twangorama — Sun Nov 13, 2005 4:00 pm


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2005-09-20T17:34:29+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9616#p9616 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]>
people usually just throw beer bottles at me and say something about a sunny beach.

Statistics: Posted by chick french — Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:34 pm


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2005-09-18T02:41:13+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9615#p9615 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]> Statistics: Posted by jaybee — Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:41 am


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2005-09-16T20:57:51+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9614#p9614 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]> You could tell them that it's too early to perform already. It's better to rehearse longer and do an opening gig that's good. Since a good impression isn't hard to forget but a band name is something you drag along much longer.
I was in a few bands that didn't work with dynamics and played everything loud and heavy. As a singer that's evne more anoying. And the dynamics is what it's all about. It's the only way to draw an audience atention. If ever I should have to look for another band that I have only one rule. No dynmics and a band that rehearses real loud = a no go for me.

Statistics: Posted by el grande — Fri Sep 16, 2005 8:57 pm


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2005-09-14T00:34:34+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9613#p9613 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]> Statistics: Posted by savage — Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:34 am


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2005-09-13T22:11:46+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9612#p9612 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]> Statistics: Posted by nizer — Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:11 pm


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2005-09-13T20:54:56+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9611#p9611 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]> Statistics: Posted by jaybee — Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:54 pm


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2005-09-10T13:43:09+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9610#p9610 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]> >I guess my real problem is I don't want to hurt their
>feelings, otherwise it would be easy: be blunt about it and
>quit. But although I've only been with them for a very short
>time, and they're not friends yet, they are nice people and
>I don't want to be an @$$hole and spoil their fun.


The thing is, we all, whatever style of music we have, play ultimately for the pleasure of it. These people you have been trying to work with have their own path, and you would not wish to destroy their enjoyment by dragging them in your direction; so I don't think they would want to hurt your feelings either. Part on the best terms you can, you never know when the grapevine will work in your favour.

Statistics: Posted by maxx england — Sat Sep 10, 2005 1:43 pm


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2005-09-09T17:22:54+00:00 http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=906&p=9609#p9609 <![CDATA[RE: (how) do you tell people they suck?]]>
but, uh... I think I should have named the thread something else, of course I know enough not to tell people they suck, I was actually looking for ways to quit graciously WITHOUT doing so.
it's been done to me and boy, are those guys in my "bad book", something they felt a week after telling me "you can't play" - when my "replacement" (the bass player's friend and reason why I couldn't play all of a sudden in the first place) blew his amp and they came over to my place to ask me if they could borrow mine and all they got was "well, I guess YOU can't play EITHER now, can you?"...

I guess my real problem is I don't want to hurt their feelings, otherwise it would be easy: be blunt about it and quit. But although I've only been with them for a very short time, and they're not friends yet, they are nice people and I don't want to be an @$$hole and spoil their fun.

Statistics: Posted by jaybee — Fri Sep 09, 2005 5:22 pm


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